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A Ceremony of Carols I

by Collin Estes

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1.
Introit. 05:36
Here I stand, looking back at where it started Remembering days of wine and joy and sweet refrain The young man sings a song of fields of green The sky reflecting in the gutter, the sun turning night to day But this is not the song I sing, And it is not a song of joy I bring. Surely the laborers are few now Can you hear the wild winds howling? Can you hear the wild winds howling? I saw the chaff blown to the mountains And the seeds fell on dry land I saw the fields of wheat and straw go up in flames Without much difference. And I saw them in the dancehalls, in the streets, And the market squares, But now they’re gone. And I saw you, I saw you, Sweetly walking away.
2.
The Letter 02:19
I put down the hammer I dropped the spikes Been writing a letter, and I hope it turns out right. Been driving the hammer Been clenching a fist It’s all that I can do To get out of my own head. I’ll write you a letter, Send it straight to you. I’d like to see you, but ’til that day comes, Here is a message, with things left unsaid. Sometimes I can’t believe you And how much I care Keeps me stationary Until I see you there I’ll write you a letter, Send it straight to you. I’d like to see you, but ’til that day comes, Here is a message, with things left unsaid. Someday maybe I’ll hold your hand It’s a simple thing, no bigger plan. Write a letter, send it straight to you, Hope it finds you well, And P.S., I miss you, too.
3.
Big Bang 01:59
Intelligence went “bang” Flipped a switch Made something that was lost in execution Intelligence went “bang” And some cells put a gun to their heads See how it’s worked out Deus ex machina
4.
Reunion 05:23
When you get home We won’t have to speak We’ll sit in chairs in the grass And talk without speaking When you get home Let’s wait for a train Reach behind each other’s names And meet for a second time And we’ll see if there’s nothing to see. When you get home The valley can sleep Dreams can awake and bullets lie down While the sheep all graze. And we’ll see if there’s nothing to see. I’ve saved you a room Where you can breathe We’ll jump overboard Saving ourselves from this ship of fools. And we’ll see if there’s nothing to see.
5.
Whatever happened to us? It’s not perfect to be strangers I swear there was a future yesterday. Now every night I pray That I’ll wake up from this dream, The world where you and I went our separate ways. Well go on, then. Go on and take my hands I don’t need them anymore As the pantomime begins again We’re living in a state of nature. Whatever happened to us? The audience was waiting The curtain draws and you’re not here. I wasn’t ready for this, A burning boy under the lights, Standing here with a box of sound and words. Go on, then, Go on and take my eyes I don’t need them where I’m going The passion play begins again. We’re living in a state of nature, We’re living in a state of nature now. Go on then, Go on and take my heart, Go on and take my soul, Go on and take control, I never meant to go alone in a state of nature. Oh, oh, oh, in a state of nature.
6.
7.
Clouds 03:46
In clouds we saw the shapes of what could be, I know because the same sky was on you and me. We walked the same streets for many days on end, And the same clouds we saw brought the rain again You know who you are, you know who you are, The clouds, they change their shapes, But you know who you are. Now there’s a darkness hanging overhead Time dragged on by with nothing to be said. You just walked away for another day, The clouds congregated and I prayed for rain. You know who you are, you know who you are, The clouds, they change their shapes, But you know who you are.
8.
From the shore down to the sea There’s a twisted little road And some drive fast, and some fall down, And we go round and round, Just to keep from going down. But on the cliffs there, high above, It’s safe and warm for you and me. How easy to watch troubles from the shore! What if that were you, my love? Would you close your window then? What makes me different from them all, And would you even care to see me again? Decide now who will our friends be, It’s wise to only have so few, How easy to watch troubles from the shore! And if they came for you, my love, Would you go down to that shore, Or would you draw your blade And cleanse the earth for your god, Because that’s what you think swords are for? And when your children sleep at night, Tuck them with a dagger in their hands.
9.
They say this is it, They say this is the end. Well I wanted nothing, I wanted nothing, But you. Yes, I wanted nothing, But none had survived. I wanted nothing, But they had to show me. They had to tell me That sometimes shadows speak. They say there’s nothing wrong But I can see the wolf. They told me Young and soft, pure like the moon, They showed me How the wolf will swallow the moon. They say this is it, They say it’s over. “Like a thief in the night,” “In the blink of an eye.” They say this is it, They say this is the end. Are we drowning together? Do we love in a dying world? They had to tell me this, They had to tell me, They had to tell me, They’re still telling me.
10.
The Banshee 05:23
I missed you so, I never meant to wake the dead But it cripples, suffer little children The bells ring out so loud, And I never meant to stir the ghosts, Now on this night, Kiss me for the last time, And be gone from my sight forevermore. The banshee rides through the hills One last song, one last song And cue curtains.
11.
Moonsong 02:51
Time, it runs so fast No sacred moments last Each day further into darkness. But light keeps piercing through When I think of you And me And what could be. All I want to do Is to walk away with you. Even if it’s only when I sleep. Every day is long The moon sings a lonesome song. Maybe someday things will be all right. I can’t run and hide Feels so strange inside When I think of you In glow of night: Blooming like a flower, Of the midnight hour, Strange but true. All I want to do Is to walk away with you. Even if it’s only when I sleep. Every day is long The moon hears a lonesome song. Maybe things will be all right again, Every night I pray May the sun take my cares away But the sun doesn’t listen, Only the moon.

credits

released June 13, 2018

Collin Estes - Vocals, Guitars, Drums, Bass, Keyboards, Tapes & Other Sounds
CJ Hackett - Clean Guitar (1)
Erin Moore - Vocals (4, 5, 11)
Zachary Scanlan - Piano (4), Violin (10)
Timmy Vilgiate - Mandola (5)
Mason France - Vocals (5)
Dobroide - Field recordings of Seville (7)

All music and lyrics by Collin Estes except 8, written by Collin Estes & Tony Owens

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Glass Parade Colorado Springs, Colorado

Collin Estes
Erin Moore
Erik Radio

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